Deano's Wild Wild World

My Long Lost Dad

 In response to the huge demand, well some people, wanting to know more about my lost Dad, we have compiled the latest information.  


Before my Dad went off to college, he wanted to try his hand at being a Beatnick in California/Hollywood.  This would have been late ‘50’s to early ‘60’s.  


And it looks like that’s just what he did.  In fact, he landed a role on the TV show “ “The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis”.  He played a character by the name of Maynard G. Krebbs, who was indeed a beatnik on the show.  


His character on the show never held a job of any kind.  No wonder my father played the role so well.  It was the blending of a real life and a TV role perfectly.  


After that show, my Dad was hired for “Car 54 Where Are You”, an early 60’s show starring Officer Tootie and Officer Malone.  My Father played the car.  


After his brief encounter  with the world  of  TV celebrities.  He packed his bags and headed for Seattle.  At a loss for any kind of job, and without a lick of any knowledge about the radio industry and radio management, he was instantly hired at the first radio station he set his foot in.  


The station’s general manager said, ‘We think we’ve got the perfect sales manager here”.  


We have only a partial report for our next installment, but it looks like it’s going to be a doozy!! 


 Ho, boy. Exciting news pouring in now on my long , lost Father. Seems that right out of college he became an instructor at the little know Hillary Clinton School of Dance. This would have been in the mid-60's. Unfortunately, Dad became a Dance school dropout. He met my mother while attending bridge painter school. Mom was an Air Force cook who took out almost half the people stationed at Langley Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas with some deadly food poisoning. Fo...r this, she was given a dishonorable discharge and this quote from Texas Governor, Ophelia Sorbet "This god damn cook wiped out almost the same amount of people killed at the Alamo". A sad day in history. Dad packed up and moved north to Seattle where he was immediately hired as a local radio station sales manager. When the station general manager was asked why he snatched up Father so quickly, he declared "Well, it didn't hurt him that he knew absolutely nothing about the radio industry, but his IQ testing rated him almost a complete idiot. We knew we had a hot one here. No way we could let him get away. And now that we have an opening in the market manager position, we'll easily be able to slide this young man right into his new office. Talk about your dumb luck." Okay I’m pretty sure my Dad is Joe Biden. Check out the two photos below to see their uncanny likeness. Stay tuned for more…Peace. 



Attacked by Baddies!

  

KXLE 1240 AM Ellensburg


On Being Attacked By Several Wild Tribes While Doing My Usual Radio Show at KXLE Radio In Ellensburg, Washington


Two things surprised me when the above occurred a few years ago…first, since very little ever happens in Eburg, why did something like this ever transpire at all? And , second, why do Ellensburgers refer to Seattle as “over on the coast”?


Okay let’s stick to the story. I was doing my 3p to 6p show on a Friday on KXLE Radio. The station played some current tunes in that show. When out on the lawn rose such a ruckus and clatter, one couldn’t help but wonder what was the matter? It was also obvious we were under siege by several wild tribes. 


The Zulus (where is Michael Caine when you really need him?), and the remnants of the mongol horde were pretty easy to recognize. Mixed in though were several pissed off postal workers and a group of cowboy rustlers and bandits. After all, this is Ellensburg. It was only myself and current station manager (currently in a mental institution), plus the skunk that lived under the small building and a big black bull snake that liked to sun himself in the front lawn against all these nasties And, we checked the list of rodeo events for that year. This was NOT on it.



What to do? What to do? Here’s all we could think of. I don’t know if you’ve heard the music industry/radio phrase “with a bullet” for a hot song that just broke into the top 100 and is racing up the hit charts. The term is used something like this. The Box Tops” “The Letter” has just entered the charts (“our play list”) with a bullet. 


Why then couldn’t we defend myself with songs you hear on the radio? So we tried it. 


I turned the volume up on our studio speakers and immediately spun “Bang, Bang” by Cher. Son of a gun if two uglies didn’t immediately drop out there on our lawn. Of course, they were circling our building. Knowing that the Christmas song “Stop the Calvary” was not going to help me at all, we knew I had to dig fast.


I quickly hit the hostiles with Bob Marley’s “Buffalo Soldiers” and Glen Campbell’s “The Universal Soldier”. Enemy dropped in big numbers now. Knowing that we still had Jimi Hendrix’ “Machine Gun” as a back-up song, I fired up Marty Robbins “Big Iron on His Hip” and Sgt. Barry Sadler’s “Ballad of the Green Beret”. 


Many of our attackers were bewildered by the song choices, but their numbers continued to dwindle and the battle field became littered more and more by dead bad guys. 


The theme song from the TV show “Combat”, and Johnny Horton’s “Sink the Bismarck”, his big 1962 hit, thundered out our stereo speakers. 


Then, Chris toyed with them spinning Al Caiola’s instrumental hit “Bonanza” and Eric Burdon’s “Sky Pilot”, plus Tennessee Ernie Ford’s “Shot Gun Boogie”. The look of surprise on their faces was priceless after I cued and started up “The Ballad of Davy Crocket” 1958 by Bill Hayes. 


What a beautiful thing to see. 


Was the theme song from “F Troop” and “Rocky” (“Eye of the Tiger”) showing no mercy? We didn’t care. It was either them or us. 


Why not Jr. Walker’s “Shot Gun”, The Door’s “Unknown Soldier”, Queen’s “She’s a Killer”, and Lennon’s “Happiness is A Warm Gun”? Where would it all stop? 


The hallways of the radio station rang with my maniacal howls. I can still hear Chris screaming, “We’re all going to die!”. Casualties mounted higher and higher outside from the foolishly mislead surrounding us. We quickly sequed up theme songs from “Dr. Kildare” and the “Ben Casey, MD” 1960’s TV shows” to show we hadn’t lost all of compassion for human suffering.


When it was all over, we had to use our secret wheapon, Jimi’s “Machine Gun”. I can still hear that song “rattling” from those 3 foot KLH speakers in that old, cement block building. 


Those few stragglers still showing any life at all were finished off by Haley Mill’s 1962 hit “Let’s Get Together”, followed by several Carpenter songs. The wounded just didn’t have the physical strength to handle anything that insipid.



We raced out of the station and screamed out our joy of being released from this hideous attack and a building that still holds many horrible memories for us. Will it happen again? That’s anyone’s guess. 


Will we ever go back to area that endured such bloodshed and terror? Probably not. But that’s the end of this story, “Pilgrim”.

Still Surviving,

The True Story of "Hey Jude"

  

Written for the “Puget Sound Business Journal” January 2012 as a tongue-in-cheek tribute for soon departing Managing Editor and huge Beatles’ fan, Alwyn Scott.


The True Story Behind “Hey Jude”

By Dean “The Beatles” Smokoff

Music lovers are all a-buzz with the new story about the real name of the song “Hey Jude” and the ensuing background. The Journal obtained first rights to this discovery by interviewing its’ Managing Editor, Alwyn Scott. The original name for the song,


 “Hey Jude”, was actually “Hey Al,” exclaimed “Al” Scott. “When I was much younger,” observed Al, “I worked at the Beatle’s Apple headquarters with Terry ________. That’s where I received my first experience in writing. 


I wrote many press releases and lots of promo material for the Beatles. I was kind of a gopher for everyone at Apple and became very close to the Beatles.


One day Paul McCartney came in and said he had written a brand new song. “Great, what’s it called?” I asked. It’s called “Hey Al” said Paul. 


What a nice dedication intended by Paul. Well you can imagine how surprised I was. After, several days of mulling this over, we all decided that “Hey Al” was not a good enough name for a Top Forty Beatles song. 


Paul then changed the name to come from John Lennon’s son, Julian.“But that’s not all. My most unforgettable moment with the Beatles came later. At that time, I had also become somewhat of a roadie for the Beatles in charge of setting up the stage and the instruments. It was their famous last concert at Shea Stadium and John Lennon had an accident. 


He tripped over a cable on the stage right before the concert was to start. He hurt his left hand in the fall and couldn’t play his guitar. 


Well, the Beatles knew I could play all their songs - although, I certainly couldn’t sing as well as John. Next thing I know, they rush me backstage and put me into one of their spare uniforms. I was to replace John for the beginning of the concert. Ironically, the first song was “I Want to Hold Your Hand.”


"Why hasn’t anyone noticed you in the film of the last concert?" I asked. Alwyn explained, “I stayed behind the amplifiers and as far back on the stage is I could. At the end of ‘I Want to Hold Your Hand,’ John’s hand was fine again. We pulled the switch and the rest is history.”


Do you ever hear from the boys? “We finally kind of lost touch, but if they ever need a fill-in again, I’m ready to go.”

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