online-dating-profile-fail

 

Generic Profile for Dating Services That Anyone Can Use

Have you ever felt like you’re sitting naked in a movie theater?…with J. Edgar Hoover?    Of course not, I don’t know what happened to me back there.   I don’t really like writing these profiles , but here goes.   I’m 6ft 3, have black hair, and I guess you’d say I look physically fit.     No, that’s not right, that’s my brother.    I’m actually physically fit, have brown hair and 5 ft 9.     Well, not really fit….I need oxygen to get up a long flight of stairs. However, I can drink a glass of water while yodeling “She’ll Be Coming Round the Mountain”.     I don’t really like beaches, in fact, I’m actually allergic to beaches.   I definitely like romantic dinners at any Chinese restaurant buffet.    And I adore wine and cats….especially cats that drink wine.   Do you like discovering new things every day?    I do.     I have to search for my keys every morning.    My memory is pretty weak.    My favorite things are….well they escape me now, but they should come to me in a couple of weeks.   As you can see, it feels like we have a lot in common.     Let’s go walk our dogs in a beautiful park.   I’m sure we can steal some dogs somewhere.    I’d love to experience what you like.    Phrases like “how amazing”, “boy that’s really interesting”, and “let’s do this again” just roll off my tongue….Let’s stroll through the world, hand in hand, foot in foot, hop a long and enjoy a new day….what do you weigh?… er, say? 

Dean Smokoff